A big sigh of relief. The PET scan made up my mind for me- The cancer is localized, I'm not dying, there is no need to flee or give up on treatments right now. I am actually pretty at ease right now with my medical situation- I may be crazy but the surgery on Wednesday is no big deal to me. YES it's major surgery and I will be out while my doctor carves into me. But I've been through this before. Now I know that there is only one tumor. It doesn't seem to be attached to anything but fat, and therefore pretty easy to remove. The incision will even be right over my old one, and much smaller. Everything seems straight-forward. Now it's just a matter of coordinating. My roomies are going to tale me and be there during to give my parents updates. I'm pretty sure I will be there 3 days again. No big deal.
So now it's time to deal with my other problems. Finances. I can't believe what a mess I am in. I don't think it's ever been so bad. I don't want to complain, but I must comment on how horrible Citibank is right now. I got a bill last month for over $450 for my first loan payment. I called and was like "WTF?" - I just graduated- don't I have a grace period?" Well... apparently you ARE allowed one grace period for the 6 months following departure from school- HOWEVER, I used this time up when I had to take a leave of absence for treatment. Even worse, I also used up 3 months of the only one forbearance allowed on this loan. Because this is a private, living-expense loan, I cannot defer, have additional forbearances, or even change to a graduated-payment plan based on unemployment or financial difficulties- all things which I have been able to do with all of my federal loans. Even with CANCER I still have to repay my loan- $450/month. I called twice and spoke to two supervisors, all who told me sorry, but they couldn't do anything. #$%$^%&%!!!!! WTF? I heard this and basically went off on these people, telling them that they should be ashamed of themselves for even working for such a heartless, shitty company. Not really the customer service reps fault, but STILL!!!
Well I can get a job, right? Hmm. I'm sure you all know how the economy is. I unfortunately have one huge problem getting any old job. I absolutely HAVE TO keep my health insurance. It's based on income- if I make any more than $1100 a month then I lose it. This is equivalent to working for minimum wage, full-time. If I took a job as a barista or worked in retail or something (jobs which under other circumstances I would be working my damnest to get) I would also lose my food stamps- a substantial amount that I depend on. So I would make $1100 a month (which would barely cover rent, utilities, and that absurd Citibank bill) and have NO insurance- owing $$$$ for surgery and future treatments. Is it worth it? NO WAY!
The situation is extremely frustrating- I cannot work as an NP because I haven't taken the test and have been too overwhelmed making life-or-death decisions lately to even study for the test. I can't get an RN job for the life of me because I have no experience. I was pretty sure I could snag one of Planned Parenthood's open positions when I did become certified, but they have filled them since I did my clinical there. Even more depressing right now, I pretty much landed a high school gymnastics coaching team position, but had to turn it down when I found out I needed surgery. I can't spot teenagers after major abdominal surgery.
And my car decided to stop working... the 6-month premium was due... Basically this is what has been on my mind lately. Not the fact that I am having major surgery. Ridiculous, huh?
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
November 7, 2010
August 14, 2010
A year out
So I had what I think was my 9 month check up and everything was great- CA-125 = 13 which is in the range that it's been post-treatment. I am due for another appointment in a few months where I am going to have a CT scan of my abdomen and pelvic area. I've had no symptoms and my fatigue has been much better by taking Ginseng 100mg daily. It's a wonder drug! I read a study on the effectiveness of 2000 mg in Ginseng for post-cancer treatment fatigue and went out to find it. In the study they used American (Wisconsin) ginseng but all I can find here is Asian. Still works though!
So I have been busy busy busy! This summer.... I went to lots of awesome music festivals and camped in the Cascades & the Olympic Rainforest, went to the Washington coast, rode naked in the Solstice parade again, had a few fun barbecues.... I also met my boyfriend of 3 months. But really, all I have been doing for the last 8 weeks is frantically trying to finish school.
In June I graduated- not really, I just walked in graduation but didn't recieve my degree, as we had 8 more weeks of clinical. My parents were in town and so they came too. I walked with barefeet and wore my colorful sunglasses which got some dirty looks from some, and "awesome glasses" from others. And my bf screamed "Skittles" as they said my name :)
So this summer quarter has otherwise been nothing but a huge pain in the ass. You won't beleive it, but SU SCREWED ME AGAIN!!! Go figure. We have one last 8 weeks of clinical to get all the experience we can get before the REAL WORLD. This means having the required 240 clinical hours to pass the course and finish the program. Well that didn't work out too well because I got two sites, each twice a week: one at a two-provider pediatric clinic, and the other at a community clinic. When I set up the days it turns out that the provider's availability overlapped, so I could only go 3 out the 4 days I was assigned too. This means 8 hours a week less than I'm supposed to. Furthermore, when I got to my pediatric site, it turned out that over 70% of the population was only Spanish-speaking, and I speak NO Spanish. I guess in the past they have always had students who were either fluent or knew enough to get by. Even when the patients spoke a little English, my preceptor would still use Spanish and fail to translate all the important guidance and treatment plans to me. So immediately I called my instructor and notified the placement coordinator that I would need another site....She replied that there were NO MORE sites available to students. The quote from an email I recieved said that this cohort was already 50% larger than the last, and that they hadn't anticipated the added students who were returning from last year. They offered no help and said that I should just try to get in as many hours as I could. One of my preceptors did say that I could go Fridays, but that's the day I have our 3 hour seminar. So off the bat I was short on hours.
I also found that the community clinic was lacking a little community. I don't know how this clinic remains open, because there have been 3 days where I saw one patient and sat there for 6 hours in order to get more time in. I got some studying done, but what a waste of clinical experience! Last quarter I saw at least 15 patients a day! This was extremely frustrating since I already feel behind due to my year off.
So after a few weeks with no help from the school, my increasing frustration led me to find my own sites. I called up a pediatric site and Planned Parenthood- both places where I had done a rotation before. Immediately my call was returned and the coordinators said they could maybe work something out. WTF? How easy was that? If I can get two sites in one day, why is the school so incapable of doing so over a span of severeal months? So after 3 weeks being short on hours I happily restarted my favorite clinical site looking at vaginas all day ;) (actually I do more birth control starts than anything else). After my first day I talked them into going an additional day. Both days turned out to be fabulous, with supportive, knowledgeable practitioners, doing something great for the health of women, all while decreasing the world population at the same time ;) I love this clinical, and I am now pretty much independent, with my preceptors just signing scripts and helping me with the ridiculous billing process. I've seen some cool things, such as a girl with two cervixes and a split uterus. Another woman had an ectopic pregnancy while on the pill, and had the fetus removed and all the appropriate followup- only to have the same symptoms of pregnancy for the next month. Turns out that even with all the ultrasounds and exams the doctor had missed a second pregnancy implanted in the uterus! Yesterday I also met one of the clinic managers who is desperately looking for new employees. I'm pretty confident that PPH will hire me when I get my license :)
Unfortunately, adding the extra days didn't really help make up for the 3 weeks I was already short on hours. Now I have to be in clinical 38 hours a week, when all of my classmates have Fridays off for seminar and homework and their theses. Not me. I had to make time to write and edit the damn thing when I was already super busy in the clinic. Total hell. This leads me to the second problem this summer:
My thesis. I was working on my 1st rough draft when my chair/prof left to go to Africa. She was doing great things teaching safe sex, but no time and minimal access to the internet. I sent her half of my first draft and she revised it, but then after I sent the other half a day later I heard nothing back. The thesis was due yesterday and I had no one to review my draft nor the ok and signature needed to turn it in. Now I am trying to resolve the mess with constant emails to other profs, the presentation coordinator, and the assistant dean in order to get an extention! Such a pain in the ass! Fortunately, what I've heard so far is that I will be able to turn it in tomorrow afternoon.
Now all I have left is 4 more days of clinical, my thesis presentation, a chart writeup, and my final evaluation which is tomorrow. The end is soooooooo close....
On a happier note, we just got our hot tub to work as of yesterday, so I can now go home and relax all this added stress away.....
pics to come soon!
So I have been busy busy busy! This summer.... I went to lots of awesome music festivals and camped in the Cascades & the Olympic Rainforest, went to the Washington coast, rode naked in the Solstice parade again, had a few fun barbecues.... I also met my boyfriend of 3 months. But really, all I have been doing for the last 8 weeks is frantically trying to finish school.
In June I graduated- not really, I just walked in graduation but didn't recieve my degree, as we had 8 more weeks of clinical. My parents were in town and so they came too. I walked with barefeet and wore my colorful sunglasses which got some dirty looks from some, and "awesome glasses" from others. And my bf screamed "Skittles" as they said my name :)
So this summer quarter has otherwise been nothing but a huge pain in the ass. You won't beleive it, but SU SCREWED ME AGAIN!!! Go figure. We have one last 8 weeks of clinical to get all the experience we can get before the REAL WORLD. This means having the required 240 clinical hours to pass the course and finish the program. Well that didn't work out too well because I got two sites, each twice a week: one at a two-provider pediatric clinic, and the other at a community clinic. When I set up the days it turns out that the provider's availability overlapped, so I could only go 3 out the 4 days I was assigned too. This means 8 hours a week less than I'm supposed to. Furthermore, when I got to my pediatric site, it turned out that over 70% of the population was only Spanish-speaking, and I speak NO Spanish. I guess in the past they have always had students who were either fluent or knew enough to get by. Even when the patients spoke a little English, my preceptor would still use Spanish and fail to translate all the important guidance and treatment plans to me. So immediately I called my instructor and notified the placement coordinator that I would need another site....She replied that there were NO MORE sites available to students. The quote from an email I recieved said that this cohort was already 50% larger than the last, and that they hadn't anticipated the added students who were returning from last year. They offered no help and said that I should just try to get in as many hours as I could. One of my preceptors did say that I could go Fridays, but that's the day I have our 3 hour seminar. So off the bat I was short on hours.
I also found that the community clinic was lacking a little community. I don't know how this clinic remains open, because there have been 3 days where I saw one patient and sat there for 6 hours in order to get more time in. I got some studying done, but what a waste of clinical experience! Last quarter I saw at least 15 patients a day! This was extremely frustrating since I already feel behind due to my year off.
So after a few weeks with no help from the school, my increasing frustration led me to find my own sites. I called up a pediatric site and Planned Parenthood- both places where I had done a rotation before. Immediately my call was returned and the coordinators said they could maybe work something out. WTF? How easy was that? If I can get two sites in one day, why is the school so incapable of doing so over a span of severeal months? So after 3 weeks being short on hours I happily restarted my favorite clinical site looking at vaginas all day ;) (actually I do more birth control starts than anything else). After my first day I talked them into going an additional day. Both days turned out to be fabulous, with supportive, knowledgeable practitioners, doing something great for the health of women, all while decreasing the world population at the same time ;) I love this clinical, and I am now pretty much independent, with my preceptors just signing scripts and helping me with the ridiculous billing process. I've seen some cool things, such as a girl with two cervixes and a split uterus. Another woman had an ectopic pregnancy while on the pill, and had the fetus removed and all the appropriate followup- only to have the same symptoms of pregnancy for the next month. Turns out that even with all the ultrasounds and exams the doctor had missed a second pregnancy implanted in the uterus! Yesterday I also met one of the clinic managers who is desperately looking for new employees. I'm pretty confident that PPH will hire me when I get my license :)
Unfortunately, adding the extra days didn't really help make up for the 3 weeks I was already short on hours. Now I have to be in clinical 38 hours a week, when all of my classmates have Fridays off for seminar and homework and their theses. Not me. I had to make time to write and edit the damn thing when I was already super busy in the clinic. Total hell. This leads me to the second problem this summer:
My thesis. I was working on my 1st rough draft when my chair/prof left to go to Africa. She was doing great things teaching safe sex, but no time and minimal access to the internet. I sent her half of my first draft and she revised it, but then after I sent the other half a day later I heard nothing back. The thesis was due yesterday and I had no one to review my draft nor the ok and signature needed to turn it in. Now I am trying to resolve the mess with constant emails to other profs, the presentation coordinator, and the assistant dean in order to get an extention! Such a pain in the ass! Fortunately, what I've heard so far is that I will be able to turn it in tomorrow afternoon.
Now all I have left is 4 more days of clinical, my thesis presentation, a chart writeup, and my final evaluation which is tomorrow. The end is soooooooo close....
On a happier note, we just got our hot tub to work as of yesterday, so I can now go home and relax all this added stress away.....
pics to come soon!
March 6, 2010
First 3 month checkup soon, work, school updates
Second checkup is this coming Friday. I'm kinda nervous. I'm going to get my blood test on Monday, so that I can have my doc tell me the results rather than me calling in 3-4 days. I don't feel any different and don't have any symptoms, but I keep questioning whether what I know what bloating really feels like. I don't think I'm bloated. It's been so long since I've had PMS that I forgot that whole part :)
One thing I have been following is my weight. I always have weighed myself- I used the number within a couple of pounds to measure whether I need to eat a little better or work out a little harder. People give me that "but you're not fat!" crap and that I shouldn't care, but I always remind them that the reason why I am not fat is that I pay attention. Anyways, it's weird with my condition now, because my weight is really important to follow now. I don't want to lose pounds because that was the main symptom that led me to seek medical help. I don't want to gain weight because that means it may be water weight or bloating from ascites. To complicate things, I have been working out a little more so I am building muscle and my weight is increasing a bit. So as of now, I don't really know what my base weight should be. What I do know is that at the beginning of January, after going home for the holidays, I gained about 9 lbs.(thanks Midwest :( ). Now I have slowly lost that weight, but is that ok? How much of it can be attributed to eating better and working out? Fortunately it has been stable in the past month. Still interesting though.
Hmm.. what else. I have a on-call RN job at a Psych organization. I basically give meds and chart and that's about it. Stuff that they are overpaying an RN to do, as it is an LPN job. Well I had 5 days of training and a staff meeting, and NO OTHER HOURS. Nobody is going on vacation. It's actually a fun job and the clients are great, but I need money. Still searching... At least I have my foot in the door. I figure that I only have to work 3-4 shifts a month to live on. Just think of how much I could have been making in these past 9 months :(
I wouldn't have to take out MORE school loans and wouldn't be so bored all the time.
As far as school goes, I am registered for my clinical course and found out one of the clinics I will be working at- it's exactly the same doctor who I was working with last winter when I was diagnosed! I'm relieved because he knows my whole situation and so I don't have to explain why I may be a little behind. I hope the information comes back quick. I have been studying up but it's not the same as actually practicing medicine..
Ok more updates to come soon!
One thing I have been following is my weight. I always have weighed myself- I used the number within a couple of pounds to measure whether I need to eat a little better or work out a little harder. People give me that "but you're not fat!" crap and that I shouldn't care, but I always remind them that the reason why I am not fat is that I pay attention. Anyways, it's weird with my condition now, because my weight is really important to follow now. I don't want to lose pounds because that was the main symptom that led me to seek medical help. I don't want to gain weight because that means it may be water weight or bloating from ascites. To complicate things, I have been working out a little more so I am building muscle and my weight is increasing a bit. So as of now, I don't really know what my base weight should be. What I do know is that at the beginning of January, after going home for the holidays, I gained about 9 lbs.(thanks Midwest :( ). Now I have slowly lost that weight, but is that ok? How much of it can be attributed to eating better and working out? Fortunately it has been stable in the past month. Still interesting though.
Hmm.. what else. I have a on-call RN job at a Psych organization. I basically give meds and chart and that's about it. Stuff that they are overpaying an RN to do, as it is an LPN job. Well I had 5 days of training and a staff meeting, and NO OTHER HOURS. Nobody is going on vacation. It's actually a fun job and the clients are great, but I need money. Still searching... At least I have my foot in the door. I figure that I only have to work 3-4 shifts a month to live on. Just think of how much I could have been making in these past 9 months :(
I wouldn't have to take out MORE school loans and wouldn't be so bored all the time.
As far as school goes, I am registered for my clinical course and found out one of the clinics I will be working at- it's exactly the same doctor who I was working with last winter when I was diagnosed! I'm relieved because he knows my whole situation and so I don't have to explain why I may be a little behind. I hope the information comes back quick. I have been studying up but it's not the same as actually practicing medicine..
Ok more updates to come soon!
September 25, 2009
Leave of Absense
I think this will be the second to last post for awhile unless something new comes up. Everything seems to be going ok on the cancer front. I have an appointment with my gyn onc on Monday so I will update about that. I am so happy to be done with everything and my big sunburn on my back is finally starting to heal, although now it looks like some kind of fungus because it's lighter than the rest of the skin on my tan back. I also got my port removed a couple of weeks ago so I am most excited about that. No more alien probe/tumor on my chest!
Other than that I have come to another major roadblock in my life. After talking with the nursing program director and dean (or yelling rather), it turns out that I won't be returning to school until spring quarter which is in March. Fuck that. I was told that I would be able to finish up with independent study, doing clinicals this fall and winter and then being done by March. The director instead tells me now that they have no one to teach the one-hour seminar included with the course, and so now I have to reenter the program with the upcoming cohort at the same time I took time off. They said it was "for the best" so I could allow myself to heal fully. Honestly, this is the dumbest thing I have heard in awhile because taking 6 months off IS NOT good for my education at this point. I need continuous clinical experience- with a big break like this I am likely to be extremely behind. I'm scared that I will be so behind that I will again have to repeat the course. WTF?!? Fuck Seattle U. I'm so done with their fucking program.
Sucks cause now I have no job and no school, meaning that my loans go into repayment mode soon. And I lose all the loan money I have been using to live on. Of course I told this to my dean and they apparently don't give a shit.
So now I am figuring out what to do with myself. Yesterday I returned from a 2 week visit to the Midwest to see my family and friends. Now in a week I am going on a road trip along the west coast from Seattle down to L.A. with a good friend. Should be another 2 weeks. Like I have anything else to do... I have been looking for jobs but so far have been denied new graduate opportunities because there are only 1-2 openings at the major hospitals around Seattle. I have no experience for the rest of the nursing jobs, plus no one is willing to hire an RN who will just quit as soon as she finds a nurse practitioner position. So frustrating.
Well that's all for now. Hope everyone out there is well.
Other than that I have come to another major roadblock in my life. After talking with the nursing program director and dean (or yelling rather), it turns out that I won't be returning to school until spring quarter which is in March. Fuck that. I was told that I would be able to finish up with independent study, doing clinicals this fall and winter and then being done by March. The director instead tells me now that they have no one to teach the one-hour seminar included with the course, and so now I have to reenter the program with the upcoming cohort at the same time I took time off. They said it was "for the best" so I could allow myself to heal fully. Honestly, this is the dumbest thing I have heard in awhile because taking 6 months off IS NOT good for my education at this point. I need continuous clinical experience- with a big break like this I am likely to be extremely behind. I'm scared that I will be so behind that I will again have to repeat the course. WTF?!? Fuck Seattle U. I'm so done with their fucking program.
Sucks cause now I have no job and no school, meaning that my loans go into repayment mode soon. And I lose all the loan money I have been using to live on. Of course I told this to my dean and they apparently don't give a shit.
So now I am figuring out what to do with myself. Yesterday I returned from a 2 week visit to the Midwest to see my family and friends. Now in a week I am going on a road trip along the west coast from Seattle down to L.A. with a good friend. Should be another 2 weeks. Like I have anything else to do... I have been looking for jobs but so far have been denied new graduate opportunities because there are only 1-2 openings at the major hospitals around Seattle. I have no experience for the rest of the nursing jobs, plus no one is willing to hire an RN who will just quit as soon as she finds a nurse practitioner position. So frustrating.
Well that's all for now. Hope everyone out there is well.
July 14, 2009
The last two weeks, radiation consult
whoaaaaa so it's been over 2 weeks... lots happening non-medically speaking...
I had a great 4th- went to a BBQ and watched the fireworks from a balcony in Fremont. They were choreographed by a DJ set blasting out of an old-school boom box. Also complete with Michael Jackson hits in remembrance. Later that night we saw an awesome funk band and danced the night away...
I spent most of the last few weeks house sitting for a friend in an apartment a little south of downtown. I was feeding their dog (who had a mohawk) and taking advantage of living in an urban environment with a pool and hot tub on the roof of the apartment complex. Basically this meant that I spend a good portion of the day dozing off or reading Harry Potter in the sun with an occasional dip in the pool. Not a bad way to pass the time, eh?
Last week I had two visitors all the way from Australia, something which I had been looking forward to for awhile. I had met one of the guys in the train station while traveling in Barcelona, and ended up taking the train with he and his friend to Pamplona for San Fermin (running of the bulls). We had crazy fun times there, and then I ended up meeting back up with him in London, where I stayed with him for almost a month. When I came back to the states, he came and visited me in St Louis, and we have kept in touch on and off throughout the years. He and his brother had now decided to stop in Seattle to visit during their US tour. It was great to see him again as it had been 7yrs since we had last talked face-to-face. I had a great time, showing them around Seattle to all my favorite places- it was like seven years hadn't gone by! Anyways, it was great to get to see him again and catch up- I am definitely planning a trip to Australia as soon as I graduate!
Since my last post I have also started clinicals again. I am at a family practice with two nurse practitioners at least once a week. So far it's been tough because I feel out of practice with examinations, diagnoses, etc. I don't know how long it will take to get these skills back but it is frustrating. Fortunately my preceptor is supportive and a great teacher. The problem is that her patients are so complex- way beyond my level. A guy came in the other day with a history of stroke, diabetes, asthma, and high cholesterol, and he was complaining of a constant severe headache and blood stools. That's quite a workup I did! The clinic still uses paper charts and his was like 2 inches thick! All of the patients seem to have at least 3 chronic conditions which are still in the process of stabilizing. At least I am seeing a lot of interesting cases- we just sent a lady to the ER today for possible Stevens-Johnsons syndrome- a really rare medication reaction...
Ok so back to the medical:
So I had my appointment with the radiation therapist last week. He was this nice, really straight forward guy. He also had a student with him who didn't seem to know anything. Wow I know how that feels.. Anyways, he started by explaining the role that radiation may have in my case. Basically, radiation is not the standard therapy for women with ovarian cancer. Usually they have surgery to remove the ovaries, uterus, and fallopian tubes, followed by 6 cycles of chemotherapy. pretty much what I had minus the hysterectomy. However, because I have the weird, one-in-a-million, super-aggressive and chemo-resistant clear cell type, he recommends that my treatment be a little more aggressive to be sure to rid my body of all the remaining cells. He basically gave me two options: 1.) 5 weeks of radiation to my pelvis or 2.) 9-12 months of low-dose chemotherapy. Hmmm let me think about that one. Chemo for an entire year? HELL NO! It would only be one of the drugs I was on, Taxotere, but it would still have all the regular side effects: increasing nausea, loss of my now baby-fine head of hair, incapacitating fatigue, numbness and tingling of my fingers and toes that within a year could affect my grasp and ability to write, walk, etc, murder of my red and white blood cells and platelets (making me more anemic that I already am). I can't imagine feeling shitty for an entire year- and because it was low-dose I would be getting it more frequently, meaning my side effects would increase over time.. In any case, my immediate thought was FUCK THAT so I asked the doc a little more about the radiation. He said that each session would be about 40 minutes and take place at the clinic M-F. The radiation would be aimed in an upside-down Y shape, so that it would hit my pelvic and inguinal lymph nodes. The side effects were different for everyone, but the most common with radiation to that particular area were fatigue, nausea, and diarrhea. At this point I made very clear how much nausea, how much diarrhea, etc and he said that maybe it would be 2-3 episodes of diarrhea a day and that the nausea could vary- in any case the symptoms don't usually show up until the 3rd week and get progressively worse as you approach the end. He then went through the more serious side effects, which he assured me were rare. Because the radiation was aimed at part of my intestines, it could damage the tissue and cause strictures and places where bowel could no longer pass through- causing obstruction and resultant surgery. I could also have skin damage, although this was unlikely as the beams would be aimed well below the skin. Secondary malignancies was another big one, as the radiation may actually cause other types of cancers later in life. Finally, he brought up the one that concerned me the most at this time- infertility.
As much as my oncologist doesn't agree with my decision to keep my uterus, I would still like to try to one day give birth. Therefore, I was very interested in whether or not radiation could affect the functioning of my uterus, thus affecting my ability to carry a child. Well the Dr. told me that with radiation there is always a possibility. He said that he has known several women who had carried their babies to term after pelvic irradiation. He also recognized that there would be a significant risk of damaging the blood vessels which supplied the uterus, as they are interwoven with the lymph nodes that would be targeted. He then cited several techniques where they could tuck the ovaries behind the uterus as to preserve fertility. As he said this of course I got upset, because I had no ovaries to protect (thinking again about my healthy left ovary that was removed). He assured me that he would do his best to prevent damage to my uterus, and that a detailed CT scan would be used to map out the exact placement of the beams so that they would spare as much healthy tissue as possible. He also reminded me that chemotherapy (or option #2) would best preserve my uterus. He then told me that he would make me an appointment for my detailed CT scan and mapping procedure, and in the meantime I could think over my decision. I told him that it was fine and that I would most likely go ahead with the radiation.
So there it is- I have made my decision to start radiation and am scheduled to have my CT scan tomorrow. I will most likely start my first treatments this week. I did snap a little when the receptionist called me to make the appointment- she said that before I came in for the CT scan that the MD wanted me to get a pregnancy test. When she said it I started to get really angry and asked why, as there is no way I could be pregnant. She said that as long as I could verify to her that I was really sure I couldn't be pregnant that it would be fine. I told her that I was really sure that I had no ovaries and that shut her up for a minute. I know she was just doing her job but I was angry at the doctor for obviously not taking the time to read my chart and the results of my surgery. How can you be a gynecological radiation therapist and not know the status of your patient's ovaries? Idiot. I bet it was the med student who ordered the test... Anyways, I was insulted and did not need that little reminder of my infertility. And I should be able to refuse a test if I want to. This just reminds me of the two weeks before surgery when the various doctors made me do a total of 4 pregnancy tests, including one the morning of surgery...
That's all for now.. Oregon Country Fair experiences to follow...
I had a great 4th- went to a BBQ and watched the fireworks from a balcony in Fremont. They were choreographed by a DJ set blasting out of an old-school boom box. Also complete with Michael Jackson hits in remembrance. Later that night we saw an awesome funk band and danced the night away...
I spent most of the last few weeks house sitting for a friend in an apartment a little south of downtown. I was feeding their dog (who had a mohawk) and taking advantage of living in an urban environment with a pool and hot tub on the roof of the apartment complex. Basically this meant that I spend a good portion of the day dozing off or reading Harry Potter in the sun with an occasional dip in the pool. Not a bad way to pass the time, eh?
Last week I had two visitors all the way from Australia, something which I had been looking forward to for awhile. I had met one of the guys in the train station while traveling in Barcelona, and ended up taking the train with he and his friend to Pamplona for San Fermin (running of the bulls). We had crazy fun times there, and then I ended up meeting back up with him in London, where I stayed with him for almost a month. When I came back to the states, he came and visited me in St Louis, and we have kept in touch on and off throughout the years. He and his brother had now decided to stop in Seattle to visit during their US tour. It was great to see him again as it had been 7yrs since we had last talked face-to-face. I had a great time, showing them around Seattle to all my favorite places- it was like seven years hadn't gone by! Anyways, it was great to get to see him again and catch up- I am definitely planning a trip to Australia as soon as I graduate!
Since my last post I have also started clinicals again. I am at a family practice with two nurse practitioners at least once a week. So far it's been tough because I feel out of practice with examinations, diagnoses, etc. I don't know how long it will take to get these skills back but it is frustrating. Fortunately my preceptor is supportive and a great teacher. The problem is that her patients are so complex- way beyond my level. A guy came in the other day with a history of stroke, diabetes, asthma, and high cholesterol, and he was complaining of a constant severe headache and blood stools. That's quite a workup I did! The clinic still uses paper charts and his was like 2 inches thick! All of the patients seem to have at least 3 chronic conditions which are still in the process of stabilizing. At least I am seeing a lot of interesting cases- we just sent a lady to the ER today for possible Stevens-Johnsons syndrome- a really rare medication reaction...
Ok so back to the medical:
So I had my appointment with the radiation therapist last week. He was this nice, really straight forward guy. He also had a student with him who didn't seem to know anything. Wow I know how that feels.. Anyways, he started by explaining the role that radiation may have in my case. Basically, radiation is not the standard therapy for women with ovarian cancer. Usually they have surgery to remove the ovaries, uterus, and fallopian tubes, followed by 6 cycles of chemotherapy. pretty much what I had minus the hysterectomy. However, because I have the weird, one-in-a-million, super-aggressive and chemo-resistant clear cell type, he recommends that my treatment be a little more aggressive to be sure to rid my body of all the remaining cells. He basically gave me two options: 1.) 5 weeks of radiation to my pelvis or 2.) 9-12 months of low-dose chemotherapy. Hmmm let me think about that one. Chemo for an entire year? HELL NO! It would only be one of the drugs I was on, Taxotere, but it would still have all the regular side effects: increasing nausea, loss of my now baby-fine head of hair, incapacitating fatigue, numbness and tingling of my fingers and toes that within a year could affect my grasp and ability to write, walk, etc, murder of my red and white blood cells and platelets (making me more anemic that I already am). I can't imagine feeling shitty for an entire year- and because it was low-dose I would be getting it more frequently, meaning my side effects would increase over time.. In any case, my immediate thought was FUCK THAT so I asked the doc a little more about the radiation. He said that each session would be about 40 minutes and take place at the clinic M-F. The radiation would be aimed in an upside-down Y shape, so that it would hit my pelvic and inguinal lymph nodes. The side effects were different for everyone, but the most common with radiation to that particular area were fatigue, nausea, and diarrhea. At this point I made very clear how much nausea, how much diarrhea, etc and he said that maybe it would be 2-3 episodes of diarrhea a day and that the nausea could vary- in any case the symptoms don't usually show up until the 3rd week and get progressively worse as you approach the end. He then went through the more serious side effects, which he assured me were rare. Because the radiation was aimed at part of my intestines, it could damage the tissue and cause strictures and places where bowel could no longer pass through- causing obstruction and resultant surgery. I could also have skin damage, although this was unlikely as the beams would be aimed well below the skin. Secondary malignancies was another big one, as the radiation may actually cause other types of cancers later in life. Finally, he brought up the one that concerned me the most at this time- infertility.
As much as my oncologist doesn't agree with my decision to keep my uterus, I would still like to try to one day give birth. Therefore, I was very interested in whether or not radiation could affect the functioning of my uterus, thus affecting my ability to carry a child. Well the Dr. told me that with radiation there is always a possibility. He said that he has known several women who had carried their babies to term after pelvic irradiation. He also recognized that there would be a significant risk of damaging the blood vessels which supplied the uterus, as they are interwoven with the lymph nodes that would be targeted. He then cited several techniques where they could tuck the ovaries behind the uterus as to preserve fertility. As he said this of course I got upset, because I had no ovaries to protect (thinking again about my healthy left ovary that was removed). He assured me that he would do his best to prevent damage to my uterus, and that a detailed CT scan would be used to map out the exact placement of the beams so that they would spare as much healthy tissue as possible. He also reminded me that chemotherapy (or option #2) would best preserve my uterus. He then told me that he would make me an appointment for my detailed CT scan and mapping procedure, and in the meantime I could think over my decision. I told him that it was fine and that I would most likely go ahead with the radiation.
So there it is- I have made my decision to start radiation and am scheduled to have my CT scan tomorrow. I will most likely start my first treatments this week. I did snap a little when the receptionist called me to make the appointment- she said that before I came in for the CT scan that the MD wanted me to get a pregnancy test. When she said it I started to get really angry and asked why, as there is no way I could be pregnant. She said that as long as I could verify to her that I was really sure I couldn't be pregnant that it would be fine. I told her that I was really sure that I had no ovaries and that shut her up for a minute. I know she was just doing her job but I was angry at the doctor for obviously not taking the time to read my chart and the results of my surgery. How can you be a gynecological radiation therapist and not know the status of your patient's ovaries? Idiot. I bet it was the med student who ordered the test... Anyways, I was insulted and did not need that little reminder of my infertility. And I should be able to refuse a test if I want to. This just reminds me of the two weeks before surgery when the various doctors made me do a total of 4 pregnancy tests, including one the morning of surgery...
That's all for now.. Oregon Country Fair experiences to follow...
June 13, 2009
aaah so finals are over and now what...
Took my last final EVER today and passed! so the theory part of the program is pretty much done. All my classmates get to walk in graduation on Sunday- I'm really happy for all of them because of all the crap we've all put up with in the program- yet I don't think I can go to the ceremony. I'm still a little bitter that everything is taking sooo much longer for me- I don't get to walk until next years graduation- although I am scheduled to be done a quarter before that. I think it may be for the better in some sense, because I can ease my way back into clinical and will have nothing else to distract me. Clinical is what it's all about anyways. Seeing patents, diagnosing, etc... All that obviously needs some work, although I am getting first hand experiences all along the way.
For the past few weeks I have been noticing that I am having a lot of trouble climbing the hill from the beach and park to our house. It's not that steep, and takes about 1o min normally to walk home. Lately, however, i have had to stop walking five or six times to either catch my breath or because my legs were hurting. At the same time, I was having those palpitations that I talked about in the last blog. Well, today I had an appointment with my Primary Care PA for medication refills and so I mentioned this to her. She listened to my heart and verified that I had a harsh murmur on the left sternal border. (For all of you nursing crew- what's the differential?).
I have always had a hard time hearing murmurs- mainly because I have never really heard one, and secondly because of some post-infective hearing loss. I could barely hear it, but I knew that something was going on... The chemo nurses has asked me lots of questions about my palpitations but no one other than me had ever listened to my heart. In any case, she scheduled me for a cardiac echo- one more diagnostic test that I will learn about first hand to add to all the knowledge I've picked up this year so far. Basically this test is an ultrasound of the heart to look at its structure, blood flow, valves, etc.
So what could be going on with me could be three possibilities: 1.) I'm so anemic that my heart is working too hard to oxygenate my body. 2.) The paclitaxel or carboplatin chemotherapy drugs have cardiotoxic effects and may have damaged my valves. or 3.) I have bacterial endocardititis, an infection in my heart from my port-a-cath line.
I'm hoping for the anemia cause I know that already. I just have to wait and see if anything gets worse before Wednesday when I have my echo. Then, Thursday I have the big CT scan. Lots to look forward to (and lots of reasons for anxiety)!
For the past few weeks I have been noticing that I am having a lot of trouble climbing the hill from the beach and park to our house. It's not that steep, and takes about 1o min normally to walk home. Lately, however, i have had to stop walking five or six times to either catch my breath or because my legs were hurting. At the same time, I was having those palpitations that I talked about in the last blog. Well, today I had an appointment with my Primary Care PA for medication refills and so I mentioned this to her. She listened to my heart and verified that I had a harsh murmur on the left sternal border. (For all of you nursing crew- what's the differential?).
I have always had a hard time hearing murmurs- mainly because I have never really heard one, and secondly because of some post-infective hearing loss. I could barely hear it, but I knew that something was going on... The chemo nurses has asked me lots of questions about my palpitations but no one other than me had ever listened to my heart. In any case, she scheduled me for a cardiac echo- one more diagnostic test that I will learn about first hand to add to all the knowledge I've picked up this year so far. Basically this test is an ultrasound of the heart to look at its structure, blood flow, valves, etc.
So what could be going on with me could be three possibilities: 1.) I'm so anemic that my heart is working too hard to oxygenate my body. 2.) The paclitaxel or carboplatin chemotherapy drugs have cardiotoxic effects and may have damaged my valves. or 3.) I have bacterial endocardititis, an infection in my heart from my port-a-cath line.
I'm hoping for the anemia cause I know that already. I just have to wait and see if anything gets worse before Wednesday when I have my echo. Then, Thursday I have the big CT scan. Lots to look forward to (and lots of reasons for anxiety)!
March 31, 2009
Spring Break unexcitement
I haven't written in awhile because I am have been back in Urbana, Illinois for my spring break. The weeks before finals I had a random idea to spend 5 days in Hawaii. Tickets were cheap, but I had never been and had no idea where to look for a place. I put it off and by the beginning of finals week they had gone way up. I would have gone but it was stressful just finding a place to stay- I had no idea what island to go to and what hotels/hostels were good. But then my mom got sick so I changed my plans and tried my hardest to get a flight last Monday. No luck- I tried to get charity fares but there was nothing for a week. What's the point of that?!? Damn spring break. I finally forked out 600 bucks to fly out on Wednesday. I missed my first flight which made me miss the last flight to Urbana and so I had to take the bus home. Ugh. Sooo boring. But I finally made it home. My sis was up with her bf and he had shaved his head for me! My sis was pissed but her looked good. Anyways, it was nice to see my sis and all but I was completely focused on my mom...
So last week (morning of finals of course) my mom went to the ER with a really bad cough and some confusion/dizziness. Apparently on the way to work she was swerving a bit and actually got pulled over for it. She went to work anyways and her co-workers got her to go to the ER. Turns out she has bilobar pneumonia. The next day she was on a ventilator and had an SatO2 of 85% or something. I was freaking out and so that's why I tried to fly home early. I had no idea how bad it was until I got to the hospital. She looked AWFUL. She was heavily sedated and on high flow oxygen and two antibiotics. Her hands and feet were badly swollen, as well as her neck. What was really awful was seeing her tongue- it was hard from hanging out of her mouth for days. I cried when I saw her and had to leave the hospital after about 20 minutes.
The next day I saw her and she had developed a fungal infection and some sores on her legs. The doctor said she was getting worse and I asked the nurse to see her xray. Of course the first one said she couldn't show me because of HIPAA. The next one was like no big deal and showed us. I couldn't believe it- I remember seeing xrays in clinical and my patients had just little spots in their lobes. My mom had at least 70% of BOTH lungs full of crap. The whole xray was white.
It was hard for my dad and I not be the annoying family member trying to control her care. The docs couldn't culture anything from lungs or blood. We both got online and researched what could be going on and came up with a hypothesis that she could have legionella. I guess it doesn't always culture out unless you do a special test. This was plausible because she's a florist and spends a lot of time in the cooler which could house Legionella. Anyways, both of us had a lot of questions and probably annoyed the crap out of the doctor. I think they deserved it though- I guess her first doctor rotated with another one every week. As soon as the new one came on her ordered a bronchoscopy to check out her lungs. I guess they were full of pus and he was able to flush out a lot of it. Anyways I was pissed because the first doctor could have done this. She also didn't have compression boots on which bothered me. They were giving her heparin though so that was why. Should you have both? I guess I was most concerned that when she did get through this that she was at risk for clots. This totally bothered me...I was hoping that she would be off the vent some time while I was home but he said that she would probably be on the vent for 4-6wks! So upsetting because all I wanted to do was talk to her. At least have her know I was there.
The rest of the time at home was ok- I hung out with my sister and her boyfriend mostly. The house was pretty weird without my mom around. Pretty depressing. My sister's coworkers wouldn't cover for her so she had to work a little while I was home. She also had an orgo test the day I had my flight home so she had to study as well. Definitely a horrible spring break for the both of us. We did have some fun though- we all had a night trying on the wigs. My dad looked hilarious! My best friend from high school, Eleza, also came to visit from Chicago for a night. We went out to check out all the new bars. Of course we ran into someone from high school.. weird cause she didn't recognize me with the wig- something which I always forget. Feels the same to me, ya know!
Well miraculously my mom started getting better on Monday. Her lungs were clearing and the doctor predicted that she might be off her vent Tuesday or Wednesday. They also were reducing her sedation. All I wanted was for her to be off the damn thing before I left. Well she wasn't. That's probably what bothers me the most. I went to see her yesterday morning and she actually opened her eyes! I made her a picture collage and so I got to show her that. She most likely won't remember me being there which is sad, but at least I got to see her getting better. She looked better- the swelling had gone down and her lungs were only diminished in the bases which was awesome! She didn't respond much while I was there except she shook her head at the nurses when they asked her if she had any pain. It was nice to see her eyes open and know that she at least somewhat knew I was there.
So I got home yesterday with little sleep and after a 2 hours delayed flight. (Never fly through Ohare in the winter or spring). I went straight to bed and slept for almost 24hrs (with the help of some ambien). When I awoke there were at least 8 missed calls from my sis and dad- apparently my mom had a mini-stroke. Exactly what I was worried about the whole time. I guess they did their neuro check and she had reduced grip strength in her right hand, as well as an inability to raise her right foot. She also was tracking her eyes to the right. They did a CT scan which showed a small stroke in the left hemisphere in the Wernicke area. There was also a lot of inflammation. The Wernicke area (I remember this from psych classes) is the part of the brain that processes speech. So the docs and all of us were really worried that she may have problems understanding language. They were confused, however, because usually strokes in one side of the brain produce deficiencies in the opposite side. They ordered a MRI scan and as of right now the neuro doc hasn't told us the results... My dad and sister did say that earlier she had some left sided weakness as well which had resolved a little. She also could track her eyes to the left. So she sounds like she's doing better. My sister went in and was talking to her and she responded by trying to speak a little . She also was moving around a lot and could dangle her legs. It's unclear whether she has language deficits because she won't be able to speak for a week or so because her vocal cords are pretty swollen and inflamed from the tube. I remember how that feels- I was on a vent during my 3 hours surgery and the next day I was hoarse and it hurt pretty bad to swallow and speak. I wonder what a week and a 1/2 feels like it... My sister thinks my mom will recover just fine after seeing her this morning. I love the positivity- DAD YOU SHOULD be more positive! ;) My mom got better fast and so I think she will recover functioning soon. The only thing she will have to worry about is the fatigue and I have no pointers about that except maybe stealing some Adderral...
So that's my current update. I flew home to see my mom and she will be soooooo pissed that she missed me. I guess I will have to fly her out! I totally want to sue the ER doctor for not doing a chest xray. They could have caught this so much sooner and maybe she wouldn't have even had to be admitted to the ICU. Fuck that. Doctors can be so cocky. Cover your ass. The Urgent Care clinic I worked at sent anyone with a bad cough to get an xray even before they saw the doctor!
You would think that if someone is dizzy and losing cognition that it would alert them to the fact that her cough is serious! Make me want to be a better practitioner. I think that's what I have learned the most from all of this and from my own experience being the patient. Get advice and consult with other practitioners because it's so easy to make mistakes and only think inside the box. And make sure you are available. At least I am getting something from all of this.
I think my luck is on the upside. Finally. It seems to come in threes and this whole mom thing completes the series. (I'm counting our rental house going under foreclosure as number one). The last bout of bad luck started at the same time in 2007- Within 3 months I got kicked out of school, kicked out of my house, and let go from my job... I should totally play the lottery!
Oh and speaking of good luck- when I got home I had a pile of medical bills (which finally came).The first letter was from Basic Health insurance saying that they had looked over my MRI request again and approved it! It was denied previously because Country Doctor didn't send them all the required information. This had started a world of worry because that was actually the ONLY thing that I had asked my primary care doctor to refer me too- Everything else I self-referred, including the surgery which they COULD deny if they were assholes because it wasn't pre-approved. Well I opened at least 3 more bills that showed that my insurance had been billed for all the specialty services and tests that I had received. I guess the lifetime limit on the insurance was only $1500! I'm guessing without insurance this whole thing may be $100,000 so that was awesome too. Finally, the best news was that the SCCA had approved my application for charity care. They determined that they would take on 100% of my responsibility towards my bill on June 25th. I guess that means anything that I didn't pay by then. How awesome is that! I don't know exactly what that means- like will they pay for stuff now- but that is still awesome news! I'm hoping that it will pay for the surgery with the 20% coinsurance because the UW is linked to the clinic. Otherwise that bill is going to be enormous!
Well I am starting classes tomorrow again and so I gotta study. I feel pretty good right now. Monday is treatment # 3. It's not for sure because if my counts are low than I will have to delay it. I missed my blood test this past Monday and so I'm not sure what they are. I will probably get another tomorrow. I'm supposed to talk with the doctor after the 3rd treatment so that will be good. She wants me to do radiation and another surgery to remove my uterus and I have decided not to do both. I guess I don't understand the point of irradiating my whole abdomen when they don't' even know if the cancer is still there. How do you target a few little clear cells? I probably will get another CT scan though which will tell me. They only did my abdomen and pelvis last time which I think is stupid because it could be anywhere considering it traveled through the bloodstream. I'm going to demand it. Not that I really want to know. I haven't asked about my CA-125 results as I don't really want to know those either. I will get them on Monday regardless.
Well wish me luck. I will write more now that I'm back on the computer for school. Break was sure nice without my cellphone on me and very little email checking! So nice to escape technology sometimes... (although TV was a dominant factor at home).
Amber
So last week (morning of finals of course) my mom went to the ER with a really bad cough and some confusion/dizziness. Apparently on the way to work she was swerving a bit and actually got pulled over for it. She went to work anyways and her co-workers got her to go to the ER. Turns out she has bilobar pneumonia. The next day she was on a ventilator and had an SatO2 of 85% or something. I was freaking out and so that's why I tried to fly home early. I had no idea how bad it was until I got to the hospital. She looked AWFUL. She was heavily sedated and on high flow oxygen and two antibiotics. Her hands and feet were badly swollen, as well as her neck. What was really awful was seeing her tongue- it was hard from hanging out of her mouth for days. I cried when I saw her and had to leave the hospital after about 20 minutes.
The next day I saw her and she had developed a fungal infection and some sores on her legs. The doctor said she was getting worse and I asked the nurse to see her xray. Of course the first one said she couldn't show me because of HIPAA. The next one was like no big deal and showed us. I couldn't believe it- I remember seeing xrays in clinical and my patients had just little spots in their lobes. My mom had at least 70% of BOTH lungs full of crap. The whole xray was white.
It was hard for my dad and I not be the annoying family member trying to control her care. The docs couldn't culture anything from lungs or blood. We both got online and researched what could be going on and came up with a hypothesis that she could have legionella. I guess it doesn't always culture out unless you do a special test. This was plausible because she's a florist and spends a lot of time in the cooler which could house Legionella. Anyways, both of us had a lot of questions and probably annoyed the crap out of the doctor. I think they deserved it though- I guess her first doctor rotated with another one every week. As soon as the new one came on her ordered a bronchoscopy to check out her lungs. I guess they were full of pus and he was able to flush out a lot of it. Anyways I was pissed because the first doctor could have done this. She also didn't have compression boots on which bothered me. They were giving her heparin though so that was why. Should you have both? I guess I was most concerned that when she did get through this that she was at risk for clots. This totally bothered me...I was hoping that she would be off the vent some time while I was home but he said that she would probably be on the vent for 4-6wks! So upsetting because all I wanted to do was talk to her. At least have her know I was there.
The rest of the time at home was ok- I hung out with my sister and her boyfriend mostly. The house was pretty weird without my mom around. Pretty depressing. My sister's coworkers wouldn't cover for her so she had to work a little while I was home. She also had an orgo test the day I had my flight home so she had to study as well. Definitely a horrible spring break for the both of us. We did have some fun though- we all had a night trying on the wigs. My dad looked hilarious! My best friend from high school, Eleza, also came to visit from Chicago for a night. We went out to check out all the new bars. Of course we ran into someone from high school.. weird cause she didn't recognize me with the wig- something which I always forget. Feels the same to me, ya know!
Well miraculously my mom started getting better on Monday. Her lungs were clearing and the doctor predicted that she might be off her vent Tuesday or Wednesday. They also were reducing her sedation. All I wanted was for her to be off the damn thing before I left. Well she wasn't. That's probably what bothers me the most. I went to see her yesterday morning and she actually opened her eyes! I made her a picture collage and so I got to show her that. She most likely won't remember me being there which is sad, but at least I got to see her getting better. She looked better- the swelling had gone down and her lungs were only diminished in the bases which was awesome! She didn't respond much while I was there except she shook her head at the nurses when they asked her if she had any pain. It was nice to see her eyes open and know that she at least somewhat knew I was there.
So I got home yesterday with little sleep and after a 2 hours delayed flight. (Never fly through Ohare in the winter or spring). I went straight to bed and slept for almost 24hrs (with the help of some ambien). When I awoke there were at least 8 missed calls from my sis and dad- apparently my mom had a mini-stroke. Exactly what I was worried about the whole time. I guess they did their neuro check and she had reduced grip strength in her right hand, as well as an inability to raise her right foot. She also was tracking her eyes to the right. They did a CT scan which showed a small stroke in the left hemisphere in the Wernicke area. There was also a lot of inflammation. The Wernicke area (I remember this from psych classes) is the part of the brain that processes speech. So the docs and all of us were really worried that she may have problems understanding language. They were confused, however, because usually strokes in one side of the brain produce deficiencies in the opposite side. They ordered a MRI scan and as of right now the neuro doc hasn't told us the results... My dad and sister did say that earlier she had some left sided weakness as well which had resolved a little. She also could track her eyes to the left. So she sounds like she's doing better. My sister went in and was talking to her and she responded by trying to speak a little . She also was moving around a lot and could dangle her legs. It's unclear whether she has language deficits because she won't be able to speak for a week or so because her vocal cords are pretty swollen and inflamed from the tube. I remember how that feels- I was on a vent during my 3 hours surgery and the next day I was hoarse and it hurt pretty bad to swallow and speak. I wonder what a week and a 1/2 feels like it... My sister thinks my mom will recover just fine after seeing her this morning. I love the positivity- DAD YOU SHOULD be more positive! ;) My mom got better fast and so I think she will recover functioning soon. The only thing she will have to worry about is the fatigue and I have no pointers about that except maybe stealing some Adderral...
So that's my current update. I flew home to see my mom and she will be soooooo pissed that she missed me. I guess I will have to fly her out! I totally want to sue the ER doctor for not doing a chest xray. They could have caught this so much sooner and maybe she wouldn't have even had to be admitted to the ICU. Fuck that. Doctors can be so cocky. Cover your ass. The Urgent Care clinic I worked at sent anyone with a bad cough to get an xray even before they saw the doctor!
You would think that if someone is dizzy and losing cognition that it would alert them to the fact that her cough is serious! Make me want to be a better practitioner. I think that's what I have learned the most from all of this and from my own experience being the patient. Get advice and consult with other practitioners because it's so easy to make mistakes and only think inside the box. And make sure you are available. At least I am getting something from all of this.
I think my luck is on the upside. Finally. It seems to come in threes and this whole mom thing completes the series. (I'm counting our rental house going under foreclosure as number one). The last bout of bad luck started at the same time in 2007- Within 3 months I got kicked out of school, kicked out of my house, and let go from my job... I should totally play the lottery!
Oh and speaking of good luck- when I got home I had a pile of medical bills (which finally came).The first letter was from Basic Health insurance saying that they had looked over my MRI request again and approved it! It was denied previously because Country Doctor didn't send them all the required information. This had started a world of worry because that was actually the ONLY thing that I had asked my primary care doctor to refer me too- Everything else I self-referred, including the surgery which they COULD deny if they were assholes because it wasn't pre-approved. Well I opened at least 3 more bills that showed that my insurance had been billed for all the specialty services and tests that I had received. I guess the lifetime limit on the insurance was only $1500! I'm guessing without insurance this whole thing may be $100,000 so that was awesome too. Finally, the best news was that the SCCA had approved my application for charity care. They determined that they would take on 100% of my responsibility towards my bill on June 25th. I guess that means anything that I didn't pay by then. How awesome is that! I don't know exactly what that means- like will they pay for stuff now- but that is still awesome news! I'm hoping that it will pay for the surgery with the 20% coinsurance because the UW is linked to the clinic. Otherwise that bill is going to be enormous!
Well I am starting classes tomorrow again and so I gotta study. I feel pretty good right now. Monday is treatment # 3. It's not for sure because if my counts are low than I will have to delay it. I missed my blood test this past Monday and so I'm not sure what they are. I will probably get another tomorrow. I'm supposed to talk with the doctor after the 3rd treatment so that will be good. She wants me to do radiation and another surgery to remove my uterus and I have decided not to do both. I guess I don't understand the point of irradiating my whole abdomen when they don't' even know if the cancer is still there. How do you target a few little clear cells? I probably will get another CT scan though which will tell me. They only did my abdomen and pelvis last time which I think is stupid because it could be anywhere considering it traveled through the bloodstream. I'm going to demand it. Not that I really want to know. I haven't asked about my CA-125 results as I don't really want to know those either. I will get them on Monday regardless.
Well wish me luck. I will write more now that I'm back on the computer for school. Break was sure nice without my cellphone on me and very little email checking! So nice to escape technology sometimes... (although TV was a dominant factor at home).
Amber
March 23, 2009
new school plan
So I have pretty much felt like crap since Monday. Studying for finals was awful. I was so tired and had so much information to retain and it just made me crabby and more miserable. I ended up going to my final on 3 hrs of sleep which was awful but at least I passed!
I had a meeting with my profs after the final and turns out they had designed an alternate program for me so that I could finish. Awesome cause during the past couple of weeks I have been wondering how I would be able to do it- I was already so behind in clinical hours and I was just able to go for 1/2 days. I really don't think I would have been able to handle another quarter- especially as the effects of chemo were accumulating... And because it is an intense, consecutive program- I would have to take a year off instead of just a quarter. So fortunately, I have a new plan: next quarter I just do my two lecture courses and not clinical. Then I can relax a little more during the hardest parts of chemo- and avoid all the germs swimming around the clinics. Instead of doing my final practicum this summer like my classmates, I'm going to restart clinicals as if it were spring quarter. Then I can do my final practicum and graduate at the end of the fall. Sounds good to me! I'm going to miss going to clinical but I know that I'm going to feel a lot better in the meantime. I don't think I could have taken another year off....
I had a meeting with my profs after the final and turns out they had designed an alternate program for me so that I could finish. Awesome cause during the past couple of weeks I have been wondering how I would be able to do it- I was already so behind in clinical hours and I was just able to go for 1/2 days. I really don't think I would have been able to handle another quarter- especially as the effects of chemo were accumulating... And because it is an intense, consecutive program- I would have to take a year off instead of just a quarter. So fortunately, I have a new plan: next quarter I just do my two lecture courses and not clinical. Then I can relax a little more during the hardest parts of chemo- and avoid all the germs swimming around the clinics. Instead of doing my final practicum this summer like my classmates, I'm going to restart clinicals as if it were spring quarter. Then I can do my final practicum and graduate at the end of the fall. Sounds good to me! I'm going to miss going to clinical but I know that I'm going to feel a lot better in the meantime. I don't think I could have taken another year off....
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