Bald Heads are Sexy: hair

Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts

December 27, 2010

More on hair loss and chemo

Understanding the Impact of Hair Loss in Cancer Patients:

For some patients, hair loss is the thing they dread most about cancer treatment. But caregivers are often much more worried about nausea and fatigue and pain, and they don't understand those feelings

Hair loss represents one more thing cancer rips away from a woman, adding to a long list that includes health and body parts, the ability to work or the ability to have children.

Cancer patients often describe losing their hair as feeling like they're walking around with no skin; they feel raw, exposed, and powerless
Cancer patients describe looking in the mirror and feeling like they're staring at a stranger. What could be more disorienting than not recognizing yourself?

This is an interesting approach: Of course something else that was never offered to me :(

In the Works: Cooling caps tested to help cancer patients keep hair - latimes.com

January 17, 2010

Evolution of Hair

I thought this was interesting looking back through my pics this past year: I'm guessing on dates to save reading back through all the posts

Before diagnosis:

When it all started falling out (FEB '09):

When I shaved it off (Feb?)

Fun with wigs: *ignore the silly demeanor and hand on the beverage

Hats, scarves, and bandannas:

No eyebrows or lashes (Aug) *tan!

Regrowth (Aug) *I was fuzzier than the bird

(Sept-Oct)

(October)

(Dec) *a little implusive blue dye

(Dec) *featuring a little bleach with an overexcited sister and her curling iron

July 14, 2009

So I would take a pic but my camera busted this past weekend

Head: dark blonde peach fuzz. it's about an inch in some places but sparse and short in others. I saw a newborn today in the clinic and I have to say that the baby and I were sporting the same hairstyle- I have lots of places where the hair is growing in slower than others- especially on the sides. It looks like I have a receding hairline. I really really hope that I am like a baby and it will eventually all grow in. Otherwise I may be wearing a scarf my whole life :(

Eyebrows: um.. yeah still not there. I look pretty stupid, especially when I am tired. I don't even have many little stubblies here...

Lashes: I have one.. ONE.. eyelash on my left eye. It's a reminder of how long and black they used to be. Everyone says I should pull it but I want that reminder... there are little blonde stubblies coming in thank god.

Legs: some short hairs but blonde!!!

Pits: longish and blonde!

I have decided that in honor of my new hair that I am not going to cut or shave it for awhile, if ever. Especially since it is growing in lighter. It feels wrong to shave something I have been waiting so long to get...

I am at the point where I am feeling more comfortable being bald. I don't wear the wigs often because of the heat, and when it's really hot I walk around my house or yard bald. I just wish that it was growing back evenly because then I could really just go bald all summer.

April 2, 2009

Wig ridiculousness

March 11, 2009

Pulling My Hair Out... Literally

Just a video for you all to see what it's like to lose your hair like this.....

Shave Day

So... as you can see- I have a big bald sexy head! Last night I shaved it all off and it feels great! It was about time- I had some bald spots yesterday morning and had to wear a scarf to the clinic. And I still need to wash my sheets (or at least shake them out) because there is hair all over. I was shedding more than my cat, and that's saying a lot. It feels good and our shave night was pretty fun. My friend John and roommate Juan had talked about shaving their heads with me awhile ago and so we all gathered in my living room for the big event. At the same time, another friend, Sean, was also shaving his head at his house, so the love was all around! The whole idea for John, Juan, and I was shave in steps to give ourselves the most ridiculous hairstyles we could think of- and to document the whole ordeal on camera. I was first and so they gave me 80s punk rock hairstyle with everything shaved on the left half of my head. We took some pics and then buzzed the rest off. It wasn't all that upsetting to see my hair go- it was all brown-rooted, and overdyed anyways. It did feel really bizarre to run my hand across my head though- 1/3 of my head was completely bald but I still had some rough patches of hair. Last night in bed it also felt pretty weird on my pillow- kind of scratchy and my head got really cold.

Anyways, John was next- he was used to shaving his head and was definitely game. We had thought about just leaving bangs on him- "bitch bangs" was the term we used i think.... - but then we got the idea to make a chin strap that goes all the way around your head. So we shaved a sideways mohawk on him that connected to his beard. He looked like a DJ with headphones on- either that or it looked like he had a moustache on his scalp. It was pretty funny. We joked that next time he should leave some hair around his ears so that he looked like he was wearing earmuffs.

Juan was last, and he had dreadlocks that he had been growing for a few years so I was pretty impressed he clipped them off. For him was did a "no-hawk"- or an inverse mohawk (basically no hair in a line down the middle of his head). It took a lot of work to clip those little dreads but the no-hawk was worth it! A friend later told me that we should have separated the lines a bit so that he looked like Mickey Mouse. Haha. After we shot some more pics, the two boys shaved the rest of their hair off. I swear the whole thing looked like some weird cult initiation. I just kept waiting for one of our prestiged Leschi neighbors to come to our door. What would they think....
Anyways, I think it was a blast and I'm really appreciative of the three guys for showing their support! Now we all have a sexy, maintenance-free new look!

Other than that, nothing much has been going on- This is my last week of classes and I have a finals next Friday. I also have chemo #2 on Monday- what luck! I guess I'm going to do as much as I can this weekend. I'm still pretty behind in my clinical course and I am short hours, so I may take an incomplete in that class. But I still need to pass my other two lecture courses- that's what I'm focused on. Lots and lots of information needs to get into my brain and stay in my brain after the 3 yucky days after chemo. I'm hoping to switch my anti-nausea medications or talk to my docs about medical marijuana because what I am was taking made me feel like crap. Crap as in feeling totally out of it. It's better than nausea, but I still think we could find a better med.

Oh yeah- I finally got a hold of my nurses and they gave me the results of my blood test- everything was absolutely fine- no decreases in hemoglobin, red and white blood cell counts, or platelets! I must be doing something right! I'm thanking the nutritional supplements I've been taking- I'll have to get to that side of my treatment in another post....

March 9, 2009

Hair Hair Everywhere

"Your hair is... everywhere. Screaming infidelities..." This song has been in my head for the last few days. So my hair is rapidly thinning. It's all over my coat, my shower, my pillow, my lap, other peoples' laps. I can pull out chunks at will. Tonight I was eating a bowl of rice and every time I brought the bowl up to my face to fork some in my mouth- a new hair fell into the bowl. Definitely annoying. I don't understand why all the hair on my head has to fall out. I mean, I haven't shaved my legs in like 3 months but all of THAT hair is still there. WTF?

Today I went to the SCCA to get my blood drawn. Of course I was an hour late because I forgot to change the time on my watch. No worries though- they can get you in pretty much anytime. The guy used my right arm cause my left arm vein is SHOT. Lil fucker still hurts. On another note, I can't believe that SCCA makes the patients pay for parking. What the hell? Aren't we going through enough!

After the SCCA I went to the American Cancer Society's wig bank. Apparently the corporate headquarters are here in Seattle or something. Or at least that's what the receptionist said. She was 25 and we talked for about an hour. Her mom had breast cancer and now that's why she works there. We talked a lot about medicine because she wants to be a therapist and I want to integrate psycho-socio consultations into my practice. Especially important with dealing with chronic illness. Anyways, she said that all their wigs are donated directly by stores (brand new) or are given to them by other cancer survivors. BTW- she told me that I was now a "survivor". Sounds weird to me- I'm not really free of cancer but I am alive so I guess that does qualify me as a survivor. The wig bank had 4 huge bins of wigs of all colors. Most of them were old-lady style or "mom" because they were short and curly. Some grey wigs as well (why would you get gray again if you were going to bother with a wig?). You can have two at a time, so I picked a reddish one and blonde one. Both were longer than my normal hair. For once I get to feel what's it's like to have thick voluminous hair! And red hair color that lasts! I can't imagine wearing them all the time but it should be kind of fun- new look everyday! They also had a bunch of hats and scarves so I took some of those. Not really anything good but enough to start with. There were definitely some good 80s ones with neon pink and greens!

Tomorrow is shave day. My friends John and Juan are going to shave their heads with me. We're going to make a night out of it: basically we're going to shave/cut in steps so we can take pictures of each other in stupid hairstyles- no-hawk, just-bangs, mullet, etc. Should be good for them because Juan has dreads and John has pretty thick curly hair as well. Mine- not so much. I'm not sure I will even have much by tomorrow! Anyways, I will be sure to the post our ridiculous pics!

March 7, 2009

Tomorrow may be a "No Hair Day"

The day has come! I just took a shower and when I was washing my hair a whole bunch fell out in my hand. It was weird because it obviously wasn't breakage- they were blond hairs with that inch of brown that was definitely from my roots! Anyways, I'm kind of amused. I showed my roommates by pulling out a chunk in front of them. It's amazing how easily it comes out. Shave day is imminent!

March 3, 2009

Treatment

"Clear cell ovarian cancer is particularly aggressive and somewhat resistant to chemo." that's what my doc said during our post-op appointment. Therefore it needs to be treated aggressively with chemo and possibly radiation.... The first line treatment for ovarian cancer is usually a combination of Taxol and Carboplatin. This is effective for 95% of the other types of epithelial OC- but it may not work as well as expected for my rare clear cells (clear cells are <5%>

So I went to SCCA for my appointment. As you come into the building you have to get 'screened' for respiratory illness- meaning you fill out a little survey about cold symptoms, and you get a little 'i've been screened today' sticker (if you have symptoms I think you just wear a mask). You also always have to show your little green card that is like a credit card with all your identification information on it. I wonder how difficult it is for the receptionists to explain to foreign-language speaking patients why they have to show their green card. Anyways, I sat in the waiting room and remember being confused because there was a "isolation" section and a regular section. I wasn't really sure which one to sit in (was it for chemo patients or for those with respiratory illnesses?). When it was time for me to go back to the room for treatment, all the nurse did was say to me the number 20. I didn't know what the meant, but after looking confused another nurse led me to room 20. She gave me the full tour: RN station, bathrooms, snack room, and at least two other hallways for a total of 40 or so rooms. I laid on the bed and the nurse offered me a warm blanket, something to drink, and some oreos. The room had the usual reclining hospital bed with cable tv. It was kind of like a relaxing little day at the spa- everyone was giving you blankets, food (even a box lunch), snacks, etc. Not too bad.

The nurse then started my IV and ran some Benadryl. I've never had IV Benadryl before, but it's a trip! Within 15 sec the walls were getting a little wavy and I was zonked out. I guess there is something in the Taxol that people react to, so they have to load me with Benadryl and dextamethasone beforehand. That took about an hour, followed by a 1hr drip of the Taxol and 3hrs of the Carboplatin. All this time I was pretty much too tired to do anything but sleep and eat oreos- until my bladder started hating me. Suddenly I was having to go every 15-30min because of the liters of fluids being pumped into me. Such a pain in the ass too cause I had to unplug the IV machine and carry it on the pole with me to the bathroom while drugged on Benadryl. Eventually I got to nap some more, but then again was awakened by annoyance- a friendly chaplain had come to visit. Apparently the SCCA offers this service to anyone wanting some emotional therapy- but geez- waiting until I could barely move mouth from benadryl was not the time. She kept talking on and on.. and all the time saying "oh- I should let you rest". Sorry but the last thing I needed at that moment was a chaplain.

When I got home that night I felt ok and just went to bed. They sent me home with Lorazepam and Compazine for nausea, and a 3day dose of dextamethasone to further prevent an immune reaction. For the next few days I had no nausea which was great. I instead was extremely tired and pretty useless sitting in bed all day watching movies or sleeping. On day 4 I stopped all of the above meds and started to feel so much better! I had a little more energy and was much more functional.

So the major side effects of these two drugs are like many other chemos: nausea, bone marrow failure (low red and white blood cells and low platelets= more prone to anemia, infection, and hemorrhage), peripheral neuropathy (loss of sensation in my extremities) and of course- a sexy big bald head. I knew all this yet no one told me when it would all happen. Well 5 days later on Friday I started having awful bone pain. It ached in my knee cap and shin bone so much that I didn't really feel like moving around. I took some narcotics and that helped a little but the dull ache was pretty much still there. Then Saturday morning I woke up with the tinglies. My fingertips and pads of my toes are numb. Walking on carpet with bare feet felt odd, as well as the feel of the dishes in my hand as I unloaded them from the washer. It's hard to explain but this is what is expected. What I didn't expect is that I have been having some loss of balance. Sometimes just standing in the shower I feel myself tipping a little to the side. Now that's weird. My Romberg test was normal ;) I'm a gymnast- I don't have balance problems!!!

Now all that's on my mind is the impending hair loss. People told me that it happens in a week. Well, there is nothing on my pillow, nothing in my brush or in my shower drain. I'm totally prepared for it- I am going to shave my head with two good friends the second that it starts coming out in clumps. `I think of it as an easy way to go into summer- no need to shave my legs, no need to worry about washing the sea water out. It's also an excuse to buy new accessories such as scarves and maybe some colorful wigs. I'm now just waiting. And it's too bad I just bought new razors, a bottle of shampoo, and hair dye!