Yesterday at 8am I arrived at SCCA to get my port placed. The doc who did was really cool- he showed me exactly where he would thread the catheter and took the time to examine my chest for the best placement. He was concerned about where my bra strap would hit the port and so ended up placing it way to my left side near my armpit. He did an ultrasound first, which was pretty cool because for once I actually saw what I was supposed to. At Planned Parenthood I'm supposed to be looking for the yolk sac pre and post-abortion and it's just this mini circle with a dot inside. The ultrasound of my ovary was just a big black blob. This ultrasound clearly showed my vein and my artery- I could see the valve in my vein flapping around, and in the artery I could see blood/cells flowing through it. Pretty cool. The doc also told me something vague about how Dr. Hickman (of the Hickman central line) liked the way that the carotid artery and jugular vein "kissed" or touched each other and I could see clearly that they did. After the US I was given a light sedative and pain killer and was moved to the operation table. They gave me an oxygen nasal cannula and placed the ultrasound machine next to the bed. I was draped on my left side so that I couldn't see what was going on- yet there was a hole cut out for me on the right so I could communicate with my nurse. I dozed off and when I woke up it was placed! But then because of the narcotics I started to get really really itchy and spent the next 15 min scratching at my neck. Apparently I can't have IV narcotics without this side effect- same thing that happened in the hospital. They called it an allergy, but I'm not sure if it is or if it's just a side effect. Well despite my plans to not sleep this whole time, I got 25mg of Benadryl anyways and began to space out. I looked at my chest and there was a small incision near my jugular and another one underneath my clavicle where the port was placed under the skin. The actual catheter is very close to the skin and feels like a hard spaghetti noodle going from my port to the vein. Basically, it looks like I have a third nipple. They got me a low profile one but it still sticks out almost 3/4 inch. And while it doesn't get irritated from my bra, I keep rubbing up on it with my backpack!
After the insertion I went to get the chemo. There they gave me a printout of my lab results. Unlike last week my hematocrit was slightly lower and my neutrophils were 0.99. I asked what the least amount you could have before having to skip chemo, and the nurse said that the numbers were fine and started the pre-chemo process. This time I took my meds orally, and because I had already had 24mg of Benadryl, I didn't have to have anymore. So this time I was able to sit up for awhile and do some crosswords, as well as eat my usual 8 packs of oreos. Of course eventually I put the bed down for a nap... I mean, I had been there since 8am that morning and had to stay until 6pm!
During the visit I asked to speak to my designated nurse. She came down and we went over how I could change up my meds to keep me a little more functional. She said that I could decrease my dextamethasone and skip the compazine. Sounds good to me! The chaplain also came in again and talked to me for quite awhile. This time I was more awake and actually didn't mind talking to her. She basically is like a therapist who comes in to chat while you are sitting there bored. Better than trash TV. She asked me how everything was going and how I thought about this whole situation. I told her exactly what I have thought since I was diagnosed: this is all a huge inconvenience. Just one more annoying thing that I have to get through while trying to finish school. Just like 6 months ago when I suddenly had to move due to my rental house being foreclosed. Just like taking a year off when I first started this program. Just like never having any money. Other than that, I don't really think about the bad stuff. Everyone tells me that I am so positive and taking everything so well. Well first of all, I don't think there is really any other way to take it. I can't sit around all day and give up. What I really think has given me so much strength is my mental illness. Since I was 16 I have had bipolar disorder- basically meaning that I constantly cycle ups and downs. I've been depressed for almost half my life, so I know when things are at their worst. But I also know that it always get better eventually. So that's 12 yrs of experience dealing with shitty times. Having cancer is just another shitty thing that I will have to climb out of. The weird thing is that I think I'm a more positive person now than I have ever been. I still have my usually rain cloud that follows me around (I think Eeyore and I have a lot in common) but it comes with a new perspective.
As for today, I woke up from a call from my nurse, saying that I actually wasn't supposed to get chemo yesterday because my counts were too low. Interesting since I specifically asked the nurse about the cutoff. Apparently it's 1.5 so I'm way below the limit. So to get my neutrophils up I had to go back to the clinic for a neulasta shot. Apparently it can boost my counts in about an hour. Anyways, I found some info on drugs.com:
Neulasta is a colony stimulating factor. It is a man-made form of a protein (amino acid) that stimulates the bone marrow and promotes the growth of white blood cells called neutrophils in your body. White blood cells help your body fight against infection.
Neulasta is used to treat neutropenia, a lack of certain white blood cells caused by receiving cancer chemotherapy. Neulasta is used in people with cancers other than bone marrow cancer
Other than that, I'm feeling ok- I am just taking oxy for the pain, a smaller dose of the steroid, and my usual handful of meds and supplements. I'm also trying to study, or was, until I got on this blog. Oh well. Perspective.
oh, now you're making me feel guilty for suggesting to blog your experience, shame on me! I also do one for my "journal" which is basically rambling and randomness with a lot of music referenced...
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great attitude, it's what I do, and I think it's pretty key to this whole ordeal. You're right though, this is just an inconvenience, although large, you can do it! And, if you start to doubt it, I'll fight you!!! LOL.
Now, back to work.