"When an affliction happens to you, you either let it defeat you, or you defeat it.." - Rosalind Russell

May 28, 2009

Chemo girl!!!!


hair

Ok so I'm confused. I now have at least 1/4 inch of hair on my head now. Good right? Except I have exactly 1 bottom eyelash on my right eye, and none on my left. And the ones on the top I can count on one hand. And I have about 10 hairs each for eyebrows. So why is one place growing hair and the other disappearing? I'd rather just be bald with brows and lashes...

http://www.hotchickswithnoeyebrows.blogspot.com/

What can't you find on the internet?

Hair restoration?

http://www.ishrs.org/surgical/surgical-eyebrow-eyelash.htm

May 27, 2009

Chemo 5

Well it was last week. And it sucked.. I felt crappy all weekend which was a major buzzkill. This weekend was supposed to be loaded with activities: Northwest Folklife Music Festival on Friday, Sat, and then the Sasquatch Music Festival on Monday. Parties and camping in between. I had all these plans... and no stamina. Friday I felt so crappy and nauseous after my morning class that I skipped my afternoon one and slept until 7pm! All my friends went to Folklife that night and I stayed in bed. Saturday I made it out for a few hours, but was beat after 4 hrs in the sun and skipped another good afterparty to go to bed early. The same thing on Sunday. I finally felt pretty good Monday and so drove 2 hrs to the columbia river gorge for Sasquatch. I had planned on camping but trying to figure out how to park overnight and meet up with people wasn't worth it. The day was warm and beautiful and finally I felt good. The shows were pretty good, including Ben Harper who was amazing from about 10 rows back! I was excited because I also got to meet up with my fellow blogger Adam- we kicked it most of the day and shared our frustrations ;)

All in all, I'm totally ready to be done with this shit. It's been such a long process. Months of planning my calendar around one-week of "sick" days. Who else gets to plan when they are gonna be feel like crap?

May 13, 2009

The Gift of Cancer

I came across another cancer blog and found section that I thought was perfect to describe my feelings and what cancer has given me:
I have realized just recently that when I am thinking positively, I am thinking about things that are real . . . the love and support of friends and family, the knowledge that my body is healing from the chemotherapy treatments, and most of all, the tremendous opportunity I have, thanks to my illness, to stop the speed of life and take time to reflect on what is important.
If you want to check out his blog:
http://lymphnotes.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

Orcas Island Pics

This is the view of the surrounding islands from Mt. Constitution, the highest peak in the San Juans











Sunset by the fire













Digging for clams














View of our beachfront cottages

Not much going on

So there hasn't been much going on lately. I've been feeling pretty good in comparison to the other rounds with this new drug. I noticed that I have much more energy which is very nice. My appetite is the same as always which is pretty good- almost too good... I keep craving crap: i.e. sweets, chocolate, fried crap, chips, etc. I am still under my normal weight at 128-130 so I'm feeling lucky that I can get away with eating all that stuff. I have no more than 5 eyelashes left on my lower lids which makes my eyes much less prominent. It reminds me of when the first time I saw my red-haired friend without her black mascara- her eyes were so naked with no definition. Amazing how eyelashes change your appearance. I still have most of my top set although they have thinned. Now I wake up with more goop in my eye because I have nothing to protect them from the dust. My eyebrows are really thin but I haven't lost anymore than from the last round. What interests me is that I have a little more hair growth than before- light brown long hairs spread sparsely throughout my scalp. I'm wondering why only some follicles are producing hair- it makes me worried that I will have bald spots in the future- God i hope not!!!

I spent last week back on Orcas Island with a group of 8 friends. We stayed in cabins and BBQed all weekend directly on the beach. We went clamming and filled an entire bucket! We also saw some other odd creatures: a 10-legged orange starfish, 2 sets of seal/sea lion bones; a 14inch or so large millipede-like creature that freaked me out, and a geoduck. When we found the geoduck we accidentally cut it with the shovel and a tiny crab was inside the stomach. It was amazingly still alive and so we freed it from being dinner. We also found a crab just sitting on the beach so we caught it and later cooked it that night. It was pretty delicious but I was pretty disgusted the way it was cooked: whoever was preparing the water let it boil and then turned the burner off so that the crab was initially cooked in warm water- so that it experienced a much more painful death as it was slowly cooked to death. We also went kayaking and fishing, although nobody was able to catch any fish. We did catch one thing: my friend dropped her camera in off the pier and so we were able to fish that out! All together, it was fun times with good friends on a beautiful beach

I'm spending most of my time now studying, as last week my professor warning me that I was at risk of failing her class because I had failed two quizzes. She recommended that I withdraw from this quarter and take MORE time off. Well, I said fuck that! There were 11 quizzes this quarter and I only did poorly on those because I wasn't there for the lectures as I was in Illinois with my mom. So now I am determined to prove her wrong and ace this class! After all, I have an entire week to study so there is really no excuse for me not to do well. The only thing I am worried about is that my final is AGAIN the Friday after chemo. This time I am going to try for an extension because last time I was wiped out the whole week and brain dead.

That's all for now- Chemo # 5 on Monday!